


What I won't do (to find you)

by theflyinganonymouse



Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M, Soulmate AU, Tattoos, and wonshik being an idiot, some blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 09:58:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17139686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyinganonymouse/pseuds/theflyinganonymouse
Summary: Wonshik is born without the string that will lead him to his soulmate. After years of waiting and wanting and hoping, he takes matters into his own hands.





	What I won't do (to find you)

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas, [kimwabi](http://kimwabi.tumblr.com) !!! I hope you like it!

“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?” Jaehwan asks.

Wonshik takes another sip of his beer, “yeah, I mean, wouldn’t you be? If you were in my position?”

“I don’t know.” Jaehwan says with a shrug. “I was born lucky- I’ve not really had to think about it and now I have Sanghyuk… But, yeah, I guess I would. I can’t imagine life without him.”

“I want that. I want my someone- my soulmate.” Wonshik lets out a soft sigh and looks at the table. “I’m tired of being alone.”

It’s true. His heart feels so heavy and yet so empty and he’s finding it hard to be happy about anything anymore. He knows he can’t keep going like this for much longer. Each day is getting harder and harder to get through and his soul aches with how lonely he feels sometimes. Especially because all of the people in his life are settling down with their soulmates, some of them even starting families, and he… He just desperately wants to be happy.

“I know and I know it’s got to be really hard now that Hongbin has found his soulmate, too, but going to see a witch? It’s… What if it backfires? Or if it’s just a scam or something?” Jaehwan asks. He looks concerned. “I’ve heard a lot of horror stories.”

“So have I.” Wonshik admits. “But there are a lot of forums on the internet made up of people like me, I’ve been reading through them the last few weeks. There are a couple of witches in Seoul that people have recommended so I’m going to do more research on them before I decide to do anything. I want to get this right.”

Jaehwan picks at the label on his beer bottle, his eyebrows scrunched up in thought, “have you met Hakyeon yet?”

Hakyeon is Hongbin’s soulmate. They had met a couple of months ago, their strings finally pulling together, and Wonshik hasn’t seen Hongbin much since. He wants to blame Hongbin for this new distance between them and he wants to blame Hakyeon, too, for taking up so much of Hongbin’s time but he knows it’s his own fault. He’s the one that’s been bad at responding to messages and saying he’s too busy whenever Hongbin suggests making any plans. It’s just… He had been so terribly jealous when Hongbin had been showing off his soulmark, he hadn’t been able to be happy for his friend. He hadn’t wanted to ruin Hongbin’s own happiness with his bitterness. Hongbin deserves better than that.

“Not yet.” Wonshik answers.

“You should talk to him.” Jaehwan says. “He knows about this sort of thing.”

Wonshik isn’t sure about getting in contact with Hakyeon so he doesn’t, not at first. He continues to do his own research online and he reads hundreds of stories about people like him, born without their strings, and all that they’ve been through and all that they’re going through to find their soulmates and it makes him sick with nerves. There are so many of them that have visited witches and the witches have sold them one thing or another and it hasn’t worked or it’s hurt them or made them ill. He’s worried that the same is going to happen to him- that he’s going to put all of his hope into something that he thinks is going to connect him with his soulmate and nothing is going to come of it.

It frightens him.

There are stories of success, too, though, amongst all of the horror stories. They are what give Wonshik hope that what he’s planning will work.

It’s a new thing, what Wonshik wants to do. It had started in Europe about five or six years ago and it had quickly spread to the rest of the world, though, the practice is still finding its feet in in Seoul and a lot of the rest of Asia. There are only a handful of witches that Wonshik can choose from without having to travel overseas, though he does seriously consider it. He’s read mixed reviews about all of them and it makes him worry that whoever he chooses is going to make a mess of it. He doesn’t think he could live with a soulmark tattooed on him that doesn’t join him to his soulmate.

It’s a big decision and he’s scared of making it by himself so, after much prodding from Jaehwan, he finally gets in touch with Hakyeon.

“Ah.” Hakyeon says once Wonshik has spilled his story to him. “That’s a tough decision.”

“I was hoping you could help me.” Wonshik says. “Jaehwan said you know about this kind of thing.”

He cradles his mug of coffee in his hands and he keeps his eyes fixed on the table. The little café they’re in is packed with happy couples and young families, all of them chatting excitedly about the café’s Christmas decorations and the new Christmas themed items on the menu. They’re only a couple of days into December and Christmas is already everywhere. Wonshik is tired of it.

Christmas is his least favourite time of the year.

“I’m not a witch.” Hakyeon tells him. He’s pretty, Wonshik thinks as his heart sinks, and he has a warm personality. He’s glad that Hongbin has found someone like him. It makes him wonder about his own soulmate- what they look like, what their personality is like, if they’re looking for him as desperately as he’s looking for them.

He hopes so.

“Oh.” He says, forcing himself to concentrate on the conversation he’s having. He had known, really, as soon as he’d met him that Hakyeon wasn’t a witch. There isn’t the aura around him that Wonshik has come to expect from magic users but, still, he’d held out hope. He’s disappointed. “I’m sorry to have wasted your time.”

“You’ve not wasted my time.” Hakyeon assures him, his smile as bright as the sun. “I’m not a witch but I do know a lot about magic. My mom has the gift and she’s taught me a lot about it. I can help you.”

“Really?” Hope flares in Wonshik’s chest. “Thank you!”

“It’s no problem, really- you’re one of Hongbin’s best friends. He talks about you all the time.” Hakyeon’s expression softens at the mention of Hongbin. He pauses for a moment, taking a drink of his hot chocolate, before adding, “he wants you to be happy, you know.”

“I know… I know that and I want to be happy for him that he’s found you but…” Wonshik trails off, not quite sure what to say.

“It’s hard.” Hakyeon finishes for him. “Hongbin knows that and he doesn’t hold it against you. You should talk to him about it. He wants to be there for you.”

“I know.” Wonshik says and he does. Hongbin is a good friend.

“You’re allowed to be mad about it- being born without a string… I can’t imagine it.” Hakyeon’s expression is sympathetic. “I waited all these years for my string to pull me to Hongbin and it was torture, knowing he was out there but not knowing where. But, at least, I had my string. You don’t- oh, _shit_ , I’m sorry, I’ve really put my foot in it, haven’t I?”

“No.” Wonshik shakes his head. “It’s fine.”

It isn’t really but Wonshik’s used to this kind of talk.

There’s an awkward pause then as they both take a drink from their mugs and look anywhere but at each other. When Hakyeon looks like he’s not going to speak, Wonshik clears his throat and pulls a piece of paper out of a jacket and hands it to him, “this a list of all the witches in Seoul who do the tattooed soulmarks. I need someone whose magic is strong enough for the soulmark to work but who also-.”

“Taekwoon’s on this list.” Hakyeon interrupts, expression suddenly gleeful. “You should go see him.”

“Taekwoon- Jung Taekwoon? You know him?” Wonshik asks. He knows by heart the name of every witch on that list, where their shop is and how long they’ve been tattooing soulmarks.

“He was one of my mom’s pupils, he practically lived at my house when we were growing up. I didn’t realise he’d moved back to Seoul.” Hakyeon hands the list back to Wonshik. “You should definitely go see him- his magic is really impressive.”

Jung Taekwoon had actually been at the very bottom of Wonshik’s list. A lot of the reviews he’d read had said he was cold and unfriendly and that his creative talents, to put it kindly, left a lot to be desired. He’s expensive, too, more expensive than anyone else on the list. Wonshik has reservations about him even if no one has had anything bad to say about his magic actually working. He doesn’t want to his soulmate to hate him for getting the ugliest soulmark known to mankind permanently tattooed onto their skin.

“I’m not… He’s not my first choice.”

“Go see him.” Hakyeon gives him a kind smile. “Trust me. He’ll be able to help you find your soulmate.”

He decides to trust Hakyeon, he had asked for his help after all. It’s late that same evening when Wonshik sends Jung Taekwoon an email using the address he finds on his poorly designed website.

“I hope I don’t regret this.” He mutters to himself as he clicks send. He really hopes he doesn’t.

He so desperately wants to be happy.

He checks his emails obsessively over the next couple of days and he spends every free minute he has trying to find out more about Jung Taekwoon and the soulmarks that he tattoos. He grows more and more conflicted with everything he reads because, on the one hand, there are no reports of his soulmarks failing- everyone who has ever had a soulmark tattooed on them by him has had the same soulmark appear on their soulmate and a lot of them have been able to find each other through the message boards that Wonshik frequents. But, on the other hand, the soulmarks are badly designed and crudely tattooed. He’s seen pictures of them and he’s not sure he can spend the rest of his life knowing he’s inflicted that on the person he’s supposed to love above all else. He considers emailing one of the other witches from his list but doesn’t, some small part of him holding back.

He gets a response after nearly a whole week of waiting.

It’s short and to the point and riddled with typos and Wonshik honestly thinks about not responding. He does though because he’d told himself to trust Hakyeon and Hakyeon had told him to go to Taekwoon with this.

Taekwoon responds within half an hour and soon they have a back and forth going, talking about what kind of design Wonshik wants and what size and where, and, by the time he goes to bed that night, he’s set a date and paid a hefty deposit.

He has a couple of weeks before his appointment – seven days exactly before Christmas day – and they drag by. The weather turns bad and there’s slush and there’s snow and Wonshik hates it. He hates all the Christmas decorations that go up even more. They’re in all the shops and the bars and someone, he doesn’t know who, even takes it upon themselves to decorate his desk at work. He takes the decorations down and throws them in the trash. He doesn’t want to have to be reminded of his loneliness even when he’s at the office. Still, everyone else has their desks decorated so he can hardly escape it.

He gets invited to a few pre-Christmas get togethers with his friends and colleagues which he doesn’t go to, instead choosing to drink at home or to go to the bar on the next street over from his apartment. It’s quiet in there, full of seasoned drinkers a couple of decades Wonshik’s senior, and the decorations are so minimal that Wonshik hardly notices they’re there. It’s one of Wonshik’s favourite places to go at this time of the year.

He can’t avoid his closest friends, though. Jaehwan won’t let him. They go out for a meal together – Jaehwan, Sanghyuk, Hongbin and Hakyeon, too – the night before he’s due to get his soulmark.

He’s a bundle of nerves and he drinks a lot more than he probably should but no one really notices because they’re all drinking a lot, too, though it is for very different reasons.

“Only a week to go until Christmas!” Jaehwan booms as he motions to the waiter to bring them more drinks. “And I haven’t done any of my shopping!”

Sanghyuk rolls his eyes, “does this mean I’m getting socks again this year?”

“You were lucky you got those.” Jaehwan tells him. “They were the last set- I had to fight off an old lady with a roll of wrapping paper.”

“How romantic.” Sanghyuk snorts.

“Didn’t you get him underwear last year?” Hongbin asks. He has his arm thrown around Hakyeon’s shoulders and he looks happier than Wonshik thinks he’s ever seen him.

“Yeah but I thought his gift through and didn’t leave it until the last minute.” Sanghyuk defends himself. “I got him his favourite brand and everything.”

“I think I have a pair on now.” Jaehwan says. He goes to check but Sanghyuk smacks his hand away before he can quite reach his belt. “Ow!”

“No one needs to know!” Sanghyuk tells him.

Wonshik shakes his head at them and finishes off his beer.

“Wh- what have you two gotten for each other?” He asks Hongbin and Hakyeon.

Hongbin’s cheeks turn bright red, “ah, it’s, uh… It’s private.”

“Oh, god.” Sanghyuk says. “It’s something kinky, isn’t it?”

“It definitely is, look at how much they’re blushing.” Jaehwan is gleeful.

“We got each other rings, actually.” Hakyeon says, looking embarrassed but happy.

“Cock rings?” Jaehwan asks.

“That’s so soppy.” Sanghyuk complains, ignoring Jaehwan. “Finding your soulmate has changed you, Hongbin.”

“It’s our first Christmas together.” Hongbin argues.

“Gross.” Sanghyuk pulls a face and Wonshik is tempted to agree.

“Did you manage to get an appointment set up with Taekwoon?” Hakyeon asks Wonshik, looking desperate to change the subject.

“Yeah.” Wonshik nods. “It’s tomorrow actually.”

“What’s this?” Sanghyuk asks.

“He’s going to go see a witch.” Jaehwan tells him.

Sanghyuk frowns, “you do know it’ll be a scam, don’t you? All witches are the same- they’re just in it to make a quick buck.”

“Hakyeon’s mom is a witch.” Hongbin says and Sanghyuk’s eye widen.

Wonshik can see the panic in his eyes as he desperately tries to think, his mouth opening and closing a couple of times before he finally says, “oh, shit, I didn’t mean- I’m sorry. That was really rude of me. I’m really sorry.”

“You’re an idiot.” Jaehwan snorts.

“You should be.” Hakyeon doesn’t look too upset. Wonshik wonders if he’s used to this kind of thing. “There are some bad witches out there, just like there are bad non-witches, too. Taekwoon isn’t one of those, though, Wonshik, he’ll do what he needs to do to help you find your soulmate.”

Wonshik isn’t exactly full of confidence when he shows up for his appointment the next morning.

Taekwoon’s shop is the basement level of a four storey building in a side street off one of the main shopping streets of a neighbourhood Wonshik has never visited before. There’s a dingy looking café on the ground level and he goes into there to get a coffee first because he’s a little bit early for his appointment.

The coffee is good but he doesn’t quite make it halfway through, his stomach twisting from a mix of nerves and the too much he’d had to drink the night before. He’s worried about how well this is going to go and he regrets not asking one of the others to come with him to act as a distraction from his thoughts.

He’s excited, though, too. If this works then he’s going to meet his soulmate soon- maybe even in the next couple of hours. He hadn’t been able to sleep last night, all the different scenarios and possibilities running through his head at a mile a minute. He couldn’t help wondering about the person he’s so desperately ready to meet. What will they be like? Will they be tall? Small? His age? Younger? Older? Will they be a man or a woman?

He doesn’t really care. He just wants to meet them at long last and fall in love and live life together like they are meant to. He’s already waited too long.

The door to the café opens just as Wonshik thinks about getting up and going down to the shop in the basement. He pauses, halfway through putting his jacket on, and watches the newcomer approach the counter.

He’s huddled into a big puffy coat and has a chunky woollen scarf wound around his neck and a matching hat jammed onto his head. He’s cute, Wonshik thinks, but that’s not what had caught his attention. There’s an aura of electricity around him and Wonshik swears he can see tiny flashes of white and yellow coming off of him.

He’s a witch.

Wonshik wonders if the man is _his_ witch, the one he’s about to go see- the one who owns the shop downstairs.

He follows him out of the café once the man has gotten his takeaway cup of coffee, his heart pounding, and his stomach twists when the witch takes the steps down to the basement level. He _is_ Wonshik’s witch.

“Are you Kim Wonshik?” The witch – Taekwoon – asks as he struggles with the lock to his shop.

“What? Yeah, I am. Hello.” Wonshik hurries down the steps, nearly slipping on a patch of ice.

“Hold my coffee.” Taekwoon says, thrusting it at Wonshik without waiting for an answer. “The lock always sticks when it’s cold out.”

This close the witch’s aura is entrancing. Wonshik feels like he’s being drawn to him, little jolts of electricity running across his skin and down his spine and making him shiver.

“Why are you standing so close?” Taekwoon asks.

Wonshik hadn’t realised he was leaning into Taekwoon’s space and, cheeks flushing pink, he immediately takes a couple of steps backwards, as far back as the little courtyard area in front of the door will let him.

“I’m sorry.” He says, embarrassed. “I just- your aura is really strong.”

Taekwoon looks back at him with a raised eyebrow just as the lock clicks open, “is it?”

Wonshik nods but Taekwoon isn’t looking at him anymore, instead entering the shop and flicking on the lights. He takes his coffee back into his gloved hands once they’re both inside and he locks the door behind them.

“I don’t open the shop on days I do soulmarks.” He explains when Wonshik gives him a questioning look.

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.” Taekwoon takes a sip of his coffee and steps further into the shop.

Wonshik follows him, stepping around the crowded bookcases and display tables, and he knows he should be more interested in the shop itself and all the curiosities that are on display – he’d been a teenager the last time he’d visited a witch’s shop – but he can’t tear his eyes away from Taekwoon.

Taekwoon nods at the small raggedy sofa next to the register once they get to the back of the shop, “you can wait here while I set up.”

“How long will that take?” Wonshik asks. He quickly looks at his watch as he sits down before his eyes are drawn back to Taekwoon. “My appointment was meant to start at ten thirty.”

“I’m running late.” Taekwoon shrugs. “Christmas time makes people desperate and I was _persuaded_ to pick up a soulmark appointment yesterday.”

“And?” Wonshik asks. He doesn’t understand.

“And what? Creating a soulmark takes a lot of magic and magic takes energy- I was exhausted.”

“So you’re saying you slept in?” Wonshik asks.

Taekwoon scowls at him and steps through one of the doors behind the register. He appears a moment later with an energy drink.

“You’ve already got a coffee.” Wonshik nods at his cup.

“And?” Taekwoon asks.

It’s Wonshik’s turn to scowl, “you’ve got really shitty customer service.”

Taekwoon fakes a smile.

“Keep your coat on.” He says when Wonshik begins to unzip his jacket, a forced cheeriness to his voice that hadn’t been there before. “I’ve not put the heating on yet and it’ll take a little while to warm up. Wouldn’t want any of my dear customers to catch a cold.”

Wonshik has to wait nearly half an hour for Taekwoon to get himself set up and then another ten minutes while he reprints the stencil for the size Wonshik wants.

“This is the worst design I’ve ever had someone request me to draw up.” Taekwoon says matter-of-factly once Wonshik is set up on the bed, topless and the stencil already transferred onto his skin. The air between them is charged with electricity and it’s making Wonshik feel oddly jittery. “I know I’m not exactly known for my drawing ability but there was nothing even I could do with this to make it worse.”

“I’ve seen a lot of the other soulmarks you’ve done.” Wonshik says with another scowl. “Don’t bullshit me.”

“I’d cry if my soulmate did this to me.” Taekwoon continues on. “You better hope they like it- they have it forever. If you did this to me then I’d only hunt you down so I could punch you.”

“It’s your design.”

“It’s ugly.”

“All your designs are ugly.”

“I’m hurt.” Taekwoon rolls his eyes. “Do you want a pain draught before we start? It’s an extra seventy thousand won.”

“That’s extortionate.”

“We all need to make a living.” Taekwoon shrugs. “Do you want it or not?”

“I’ll pass.” Wonshik says but, inside, he’s fuming.

Sanghyuk had been right- Taekwoon is just another witch trying to make a quick buck.

“Does it make you feel good?” Wonshik asks, fighting back a wince as Taekwoon tattoos the first line. “Taking advantage of people like me- people born without their strings? They come to you because they’re desperate and you take them for every last penny they have.”

Taekwoon wipes at the tattoo, “oh, look at this, the ink has taken- that means your soulmate isn’t dead.”

Wonshik pales. That possibility hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“You- you’re an asshole.” He spits out.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Taekwoon doesn’t look up from Wonshik’s chest, eyebrows knit together in concentration. The soulmark is being tattooed right over his heart- another thing Taekwoon had rolled his eyes at.

“I should have gone to a different witch.” Wonshik mutters.

“Too late.” Taekwoon tells him. “We’ve started now.”

“One of your old friends recommended you to me.” Wonshik says through gritted teeth. It _hurts_. “He seemed pretty interested that you’d moved back to Seoul from wherever you’d gone off to. Hell, I’m guessing.”

“Very original.” Taekwoon snorts. He wipes at the tattoo. “Who recommended me?”

“Cha Hakyeon.”

“Ah.” Taekwoon frowns. “I expect I’ll be getting a message from him soon. He likes to… _talk_.”

“He’s a nice guy. He’s soulmates with one of my best friends.”

“I see.” Taekwoon’s frown grows deeper. “No more talking now- I need to concentrate.”

The next couple of hours drag by for Wonshik. The tattooing is painful and being so close to Taekwoon and his aura makes everything just that much sharper. He’s glad when it finally looks to be coming to an end.

“Are we done?” Wonshik asks. He’s been ready to leave pretty much since arriving.

Taekwoon wipes the blood and excess ink from the tattoo, checking for any areas he needs to touch up, and shakes his head, “not quite. The real magic happens now.”

“What does that mean?”

Taekwoon ignores him, “whatever happens, don’t interrupt me, okay?”

“Okay.” Wonshik agrees, still not understanding.  No one had ever talked about this in any of the reviews he’d read- they’d mostly focussed on that tattoo itself.

Taekwoon peels off the latex glove from his left hand and he presses his fingertips into the freshly tattooed skin over Wonshik’s heart. Almost immediately Wonshik feels a burst of electricity begin to flow through his veins and it’s painful for the briefest of moments before that feeling is replaced by a sense of pure euphoria.

He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so alive.

He looks to Taekwoon, laughter bubbling on his lips, and he’s surprised to see him in enveloped in a bright glow. He looks otherworldly like this, beautiful in a way he hadn’t before. Wonshik thinks for one horrible second that he could fall in love with him.

‘This is it!’ Wonshik thinks, elated. ‘This is it, this is the moment. I’m going to have my soulmark and I’m going to find my soulmate!’

He can’t stop himself from grinning.

He feels so happy, so full of hope and expectation.

He’s so close!

The seconds seem to tick by and Wonshik notices Taekwoon’s glow is beginning to fade everywhere but the hand pressed against Wonshik’s soulmark. He’s trembling, his eyes clenched shut, and his skin without the glow is waxy and grey. Wonshik, despite himself and his own happiness, feels a pang of concern.

“Taekwoon?” He tries.

Taekwoon acts like he hasn’t heard him. Maybe he hasn’t. The glow is just in his left hand now and Wonshik can feel the electricity pumping through his veins. It is physically paining him to sit still and wait for this to be over- he wants to run and jump and sing from the rooftops. He has so much energy he feels fit to burst.

There’s a sudden gush of blood from Taekwoon’s nose when he finally removes his hand from Wonshik’s chest, looking more dead than alive. He swears and immediately grabs the roll of tissue from the side and presses a wad of it against his face.

“Shit.” Wonshik swears. He sits up on the bed. “Are you okay? Is there anything you need me to do?”

“Don’t move.” Taekwoon tells him, his voice thick. “Give me a minute. I need to do your dressing still.”

Wonshik watches as he staggers over to the sink in the corner of the room and nearly collapses into it, only his white knuckled grip on the counter seeming to keep him upright. Wonshik’s stomach twists uneasily.

He slips off the bed and walks over to Taekwoon. He puts a hand on his shoulder only for Taekwoon to jerk away from his touch.

“Don’t!” He hisses. “Don’t touch me!”

“What can I do to help?” Wonshik asks, dropping his hand to his side.

Taekwoon spits blood into the sink, “nothing. Just- just go sit back on the bed. I’ll be okay in a minute.”

It’s a long minute – more like ten, Wonshik guesses – but eventually the blood begins to slow and Taekwoon is able to wash his face and stuff bits of tissue up his nose to capture the last of the blood. He washes his hands and hesitates before putting on a fresh pair of gloves.

“You’ll want a picture, won’t you?” He asks. He still looks like death. “For your google or wherever you’re going to post it.”

Wonshik fights back a smile. He’s still giddy from whatever magic Taekwoon had done to create his soulmark.

“Yes, please.” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and opens the camera before handing it to Taekwoon.

“Your soulmate won’t have felt the soulmark being made.” Taekwoon tells him. His hands are shaking and he’s frowning at the phone as he takes a couple of photos. “They probably won’t even notice it until they’re getting undressed tonight so don’t get your hopes up about finding them today, okay?”

Their fingers brush as Taekwoon hands him back his phone and Wonshik feels a shock of electricity shoot through him. It surprises him so much that he nearly drops his phone.

“Your magic- it’s amazing.” He stutters.

Taekwoon gives him a strange look but he doesn’t say anything else.

It doesn’t take long for Taekwoon to dress his tattoo and deliver a short spiel about aftercare. Wonshik pulls on his t-shirt and jumper and then his jacket and Taekwoon takes him to the register to pay.

“Is it always like this?” Wonshik asks as he fishes his wallet out of his pocket because Taekwoon looks like he’s seconds away from fainting.

“Real magic takes energy.” Taekwoon doesn’t look at him. He seems softer now, less bitter. Maybe it’s the exhaustion. “Do you get why it’s so expensive now?”

Wonshik nods, “yeah. I’m sorry for, you know, giving you shit earlier.”

“It’s okay.” Taekwoon shrugs as he takes the wad of cash Wonshik hands him- he had warned Wonshik in advance he didn’t take card. He stuffs it in the register without counting it. “I get it all the time.”

“That’s shit.” Wonshik says and he gets another shrug in return.

Taekwoon follows him to the front door and unlocks it for him.

“Good luck.” He says. “Email me if you have any problems.”

“I will.” Wonshik stuffs his hands into his pockets. It’s freezing outside. “Merry Christmas.”

Taekwoon rolls his eyes at him and slams the door shut. Wonshik stands there for a minute and hears the lock click and Taekwoon’s uneven footsteps moving back into the shop. He feels oddly empty and he doesn’t understand why.

He posts the best of the photos Taekwoon had taken on all the different sites he’s been visiting while he’s on the subway home. He stops off at his apartment briefly, just enough time to get changed and grab a bottle of water, before setting off to the gym. He still has far too much energy.

He spends a couple of hours at the gym and he tries not to think about how he might have a response waiting for him from his soulmate by the time he’s finished. He can’t help but be excited, though. He’s so close to meeting them- he knows it.

There’s nothing except a couple of comments on his tattoo by the time he’s finished his workout. He goes home and showers and makes dinner and he tries not to check his phone obsessively but he can’t help himself. He can’t even sleep that night, too keyed up to drift off, and he switches from site to site to site, refreshing and hoping and praying that his soulmate will have responded.

Morning comes and there’s nothing.

Wonshik is at work the next day but he can’t concentrate. He spends most of his time on those same sites, hoping and hoping and hoping, but there’s never any response.

He gets a couple of text messages from Jaehwan and Hongbin and Sanghyuk throughout the day asking him how it went, if he’s met his soulmate yet, but Wonshik is too upset to reply.

The days continue to pass with nothing and Wonshik begins to lose hope.

He’s heartbroken.

He had really thought that the magic would have worked- that he would have found his soulmate by now. Taekwoon had said that they weren’t dead so he doesn’t understand why they haven’t started looking for him. Do they not want him? After everything he’s done to try and find them?

By Christmas eve he’s stopped checking his phone.

He feels so empty, so hurt. He doesn’t understand what he’s done to deserve this pain- all he’s wanted is to be loved and to be happy. He hadn’t thought it was too much to ask, to have a soulmate just like everyone else, but he’s still so alone.

He goes to his favourite bar on his way home from work. It had been a short day, the office closing at lunchtime, but Wonshik hadn’t been ready to go home. He’s so sick of being alone.

He takes a seat at the bar and orders himself a drink that he doesn’t really have any interest in drinking. He nurses it over the next hour and he tries not to think, tries not to mourn. He feels so alone.

He doesn’t notice that someone has taken the stool next to him until he feels a familiar jolt of energy run through him. He looks up from his glass, blinking away the tears that have gathered in his eyes, and stares, not quite able to believe what he’s seeing.

It’s the witch- _Taekwoon_.

“Two more of whatever he’s got.” He says to the bartender, nodding at Wonshik’s glass. To Wonshik he says, “it better not taste like shit.”

“Then why didn’t you get whatever you like to drink?” Wonshik snorts, unable to look away from Taekwoon’s face. He looks a lot better than the last Wonshik had seen him- his eyes are bright and his cheeks are pink.  

 “I’m trying to be nice.” Taekwoon rolls his eyes.

“Why are you here?” Wonshik asks.

“Why don’t you check your emails?” Taekwoon counters.

“What’s the point? Your magic didn’t work.”

“It worked.” Taekwoon tells him.

“Then where are they?” Wonshik asks, his voice breaking. “Why am I still alone?”

Taekwoon puts a hand on his arm and, even through the layers that separate their skin, he feels a pulse of electricity spread from Taekwoon to him.

“Wonshik…” Taekwoon murmurs, his expression unexpectedly soft.

“What?” He asks.

“Do you really not feel it?” Taekwoon meets his eyes and it feels like an explosion has gone off. Wonshik’s heart pounds in his chest and his hands shake. It’s a beautiful and terrible thing and he finds he can’t look away.

“Wonshik?” Taekwoon prompts him after a minute.

Wonshik blinks, “your magic…”

Taekwoon snorts and looks away, his expression shifting, “you really are an idiot.”

He removes his hand and downs the two drinks the bartender had brought over while they had been talking. He grimaces as he does so and glares at Wonshik who still hasn’t been able to look away.

“I thought one of those was for me.” Wonshik says.

“I changed my mind.” Taekwoon tells him. “Idiots don’t get free drinks.”

“Then I suppose I’m buying.” He says. He flags down the bartender and orders a bottle of the whiskey they’ve been drinking. He asks, “do you want to get really drunk?”

“I think I’m going to need it.”

They sit and drink for a while in silence. Wonshik stares and Taekwoon rolls his eyes at him whenever he catches him but it doesn’t stop him. He can’t look away.

“You never asked me about my soulmate.” Taekwoon says when they’re nearly halfway through the bottle. He’s been getting through his drink quicker than Wonshik and there’s a slight slur to his voice.

“Why would I?”

“People like to talk about these kinds of things.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.” Taekwoon says.

“Great.”

“You’re an ass.”

“And yet you’re still here.”

Taekwoon ignores him, “I was born without my string, too, you know. So I know what it’s like- the waiting, the loneliness, the _hope_ … I made myself sick when I was younger, I was so obsessed with finding my soulmate. All the potions I would brew, the spells I would cast- nothing worked. So, after a while, I gave up. What was the point, right? I’d done so much and I had made myself so ill and it was all for nothing. I still hadn’t found them.”

Wonshik can feel the pain in Taekwoon’s voice, the bitterness, and his heart aches in sympathy.

“Why didn’t you do the soulmarks thing?” Wonshik asks.

Taekwoon shrugs and knocks back another drink, “I told myself I didn’t need a soulmate and that I was happy on my own.”

“Something’s changed your mind.” Wonshik guesses. He can see it in Taekwoon’s eyes.

“I got my soulmark.” Taekwoon tells him. “It was a few days ago. I was getting changed for bed and I saw it there and… Well, I didn’t know what to do.”

“Have you found them?” Wonshik asks.

Taekwoon nods.

“Then why aren’t you with them?” Wonshik doesn’t understand.

“They’re an idiot.” Taekwoon tells him and then he kisses him.

Wonshik kisses back without thinking. Taekwoon’s lips are soft but Wonshik still feels like he’s being burned alive. He knows it should feel wrong, that it should hurt, but it doesn’t. His blood bubbles in his veins and he swears he sees fireworks when he closes his eyes. It’s like nothing he’s ever felt before.

“Take me back to yours.” Taekwoon murmurs when they finally pull away.

“Your soulmate-.” Wonshik starts.

“Please, Wonshik.” There are the beginnings of tears in Taekwoon’s eyes and he looks vulnerable and open. It sends a pang through Wonshik’s chest. “Please, I don’t want to spend another Christmas alone.”

Wonshik can’t say no- he doesn’t want to be alone, either. He’s so tired of being alone.

It’s a short walk to Wonshik’s apartment but Taekwoon shivers the whole way there. Wonshik wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him close so that they can share body heat. It’s worth it for the smile that Taekwoon gives him.

Taekwoon kisses him before Wonshik even manages to get the front door closed. He pushes him against the wall and threads his fingers through Wonshik’s hair. His lips are hot as they kiss down Wonshik’s neck and Wonshik revels in the feeling. He feels wanted and desirable and it’s a foreign feeling after so many years of loneliness.

They shed their coats in the entrance hall and Wonshik links their fingers together when he leads Taekwoon through the apartment and to his bedroom. He can feel the current of electricity flowing from Taekwoon into him.

He feels alive.

“Your apartment is nice.” Taekwoon says as he pushes Wonshik onto the bed. He’s on him immediately, straddling his hips and sucking at his neck and fiddling with the buttons of his shirt. “Much nicer than mine.”

Wonshik helps Taekwoon with the buttons, “it’s basic.”

“You’re impossible.” Taekwoon shakes his head. He trails his fingers over Wonshik’s soulmark, “you’ve looked after it well- I suppose you didn’t want to make it any uglier.”

“Why are we still talking?” Wonshik asks and he pulls Taekwoon closer. He kisses him again but Taekwoon pulls away. “What?”

Taekwoon pulls his t-shirt off and Wonshik is freezes because there, right over his heart-.

A soulmark.

Wonshik’s soulmark.

“What?” He’s in shock.

“I hate you so much.” Taekwoon says but he kisses him anyway.

There are tears in Wonshik’s eyes when they pull back. He takes Taekwoon’s face in his hands and sees that there are tears in his eyes, too.

“I don’t understand.” Wonshik murmurs.

“You found me.” Taekwoon tells him. “After all this time- you found me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Talk to me on tumblr [@dramaticdaeguni](http://dramaticdaeguni.tumblr.com)


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